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Need a bit more exorcize.

Hi there, Long time no see. Sorry folks, I've been really busy lately.

Gearing up for moving is never fun, but it has to get done. Long story short, Rourkie and I are done, and I need to escape New England. Shit happens, life moves on and so am I.

I'm not bitter about any of it whatsoever, actually a little glad at the change. Working on fixing my life, getting back into shape and getting back on track. Makes me sigh in all the right ways.

Good times in New England, made a lot of good friends, and had some good times, but every chapter has an end. I feel happy that I made an impact on my friends' lives out here that they don't want me to leave, but that's what the innurwebs are for~!

April 30th's the day, Mom's gonna pick me up and take me back to the ever-loving chicago area. I'm just glad I got a lot of loose ends tied up, and little debts fixed beforehand. I don't feel happy about this decision, but in the view of my future, it's for the best.

It's been fun, Massachusetts. Much love.

okay, what the FUCK, LJ?

I keep getting emails and notifications of people talking about Harry Potter in my last journal, which happened near 6 MONTHS ago, and all of their tags are in fucking Russian/Cyrillic. STOP IT. It's fucking annoying. Granted, instabanning is a delicious delicious powersurge, but it's still pissing me off. the journal was about leaving my last job, seriously.


Al Fine'

well, that's all she wrote for T.J. Maxx. I was officially let go from my position the most awkward way possible.

To preface it, last Friday, after I got my check, I had a 45 minute impromptu pow-wow with my head manager on why I felt like I needed to leave and a lot of cyclical arguing, I gave my two weeks an hour later over the phone. To clarify, It's been 5 days, since. My first day in since my notice, the new schedule was up. Cool I'll see what I work next week and... I wasn't even on the schedule. Okay, no problem, maybe it was a screw-up. I stupidly took it to heart that I wasn't needed, so I asked a manager about it, and they stated, they'd rather give the hours to employees who deserved them and would be reliable to show for them. ...excuse me?

That broke me. It made me fell awful yesterday, tired, crabby, growing more and more depressed. and I was falling asleep while standing up, to make matters worse. I felt even worse today, I decided to go home after 2 and a half hours of work today, and my manager decided to just say, "If you'd like you can just pick up your check tomorrow." I was taken aback, confused, and just ever so slightly angry. But I kept my calm, clocked out, and left a small note to my coworkers in the breakroom stating "Well, It's been fun. <3 -Kyle." I watched him almost throw it away, but then put it back on the table as he escorted me out of the building. We had a small chat about me moving in a few weeks and changing my address for W-2 sakes, shook his hand, said thank you and left. I may not be a happy worker, but I like to think I'm polite.

Thats about it. I'm off to cry and scour Craigslist after that.


Good News!

My stepbrother was arrested for selling LSD, and I put in my 2 weeks at TJ Maxx today!


Workout update.

Down 16 lbs in 2 months, 280 down to 264. Mostly due to diet and scattered exercise.

Recently been doing 35-40 minutes of hard cardio (alternating 5 minutes hardcore running/biking, and then 5 of just normal pace) and then low weight, high-rep of alternating machines. Which's seeming to do the trick so far. About 4-5 times a week.
I changed my Diet regulations to multi-vitamin, and switching from the old-fashioned 3 square meals to 6, 200-300 calorie minimeals per day, mostly high protien. So far so good. I've had less need to eat 'til I'm full and I'm CONSTANTLY sweating, because my metabolism's constantly running. I've had these weird little mini-hungers everytime I need to east, like my body's already accustomed to the schedule, somehow... Hard part was switching from caffeine and pop to Green Tea, etc. I pass a Dunkin' Donuts on my way to and from work, so that's just... tempting so often.

I guess the big reason for this post is more of, I fit into my goal pants today. Just a skosh bit snug, but not uncomfortable.38" waisted Lucky Brands that I got from work on clearance, on impulse. I wore a pair ONCE, a while ago and I fell in love with their denim. I was completely unable to button them nor get them over my thighs when I started working out. Perfect timing too, my last pair of pants were looking a bit... hippie-ragged.

I'm going to keep going and try to get back down to 200, which was where I was at before I put on all of this weight. I've done excessive research, and It's making me feel great on my finding and experimentations so far. *fingers crossed*


Hey y'all. Anthrocon is a go. You'll find me at Booth D-20 (HA! Natural 20!)

The little things.

Little things make me grateful.

Like a cleaned, organized bathroom. One I didn't have to clean by/for myself.

Working out really hard for an hour, and feeling the burn for a day and a half.

Surprise sex from someone I hadn't seen in over 3 months.

Grapefruit Juice with Honey Bunches of Oats for breakfast.

Randomly having the want to draw something, and losing hours in it.

I love little things~

Small music/Art update.

So, through Trent Reznor's Twitter, I found out he started a new band with his wife. 'How To Destroy Angels' sounded a little... angry from just the name alone. Found a video, watched most of it, not because I didn't want to, just was distracted. And I ended up paying a buck for their 7 minute long single-song EP. dollar well spent. It kinda hearkens back to 'The Fragile's slower instrumentals, except with haunting female vocals, and delicious bridges. And I wrote much more about it than I thought I would.

Also, I realized I only like 2 songs off of The Mars Volta's 'Octahedron.' Kinda makes me sad, because I love everything else they did.

Art-groove has been eking back slowly, I've been doodling a lot, but not finishing anything, let alone tackling my overdue commissions. I noted my commissioners, and they understand. It bugs me the most, honestly.

Undeserved stress coming from all angles, not fun. Oh well. it's getting better at least.

That's all.

Health-update of sorts.

A week before my Birthday it seems to be. This year, I got the workout bug back into me early, last year it hit around April. Which means I've been taking full advantage of the little gym in our apartment complex, going it slow, a lot of ellptical and treadmill-powerwalking to help with endurance and stamina, because it's been about 4 years since I'd done that last.

It just kinda hit me one day that I was getting worried about the big bad Wilford Brimley-scary-stuff, Diabeetus; I'd researched and found I was showing 2 of the early warning signs kind of often. That and my IBS and Acid Reflux was in full blaze again. Which I really don't like. So, I kinda made a 2 week late resolution to get back into decent health/shape this year, nothing too drastic, just so I stopped feeling so tired and awful all the time. So i splurged a bit and bought a lot of healthy stuff, more fruit and veggies, and gum to help with my lack of snackies.

There've been ups and down, and a few "i'm breaking my diet for tonight" nights, which i alays feel a twinge of guilt the next day for, but it's normally worth it, like amazing Wedding desserts! Diet consisting mainly of portion control, and seriously watching what I'm eating, calorie counting, etc. balancing intake of equal amounts of things, and it's been about a Month since I started. So far, I've lost around 15 pounds, and 4 inches off of my waist, because I had to buy new pants last week. whoo! 40 waist again! Dropped down to a regular XL shirt with a bit of room, too. It's been doing wonder's for my self-esteem, and actually having a personal goal has really lifted my spirits despite my current financial hellhole. Still nearly no drive to do artwork, which scares and saddens me. I actually forgot about a commission a guy paid me for almost 2 months ago, and I explained that my scanner died, bit of a lie, because it just won't let me do anything til we replace the ink cartridge. Lame Lame Lame. Oh well. I think that's enough update from me.

I'm fucking sick, goddammnit.

To preface this: I've had a horrible day at work, every day since Tuesday, whether it be hunger pangs or lack of sleep due to stress. Both hit me this morning. So, I proactively made 2 sandwiches, and ate one 30 minutes before I left, and one on my walk to work. Ok, so I get there, pretty frosty, and I'm feeling okay. Get actually INTO work, and into the building and suddenly my stomach turns sour, and my tiredness immediately comes back.

It takes me roughly 45 minutes to concentrate enough to get through a few boxes, which I can knock out in 1/4th of the time on a normal day. My stomach is curling and i keep burping up stomach acid, finally it gets worse enough that I trudge across the building and reverse all of my eating processes and then some in the bathroom. I clean up, and find my manager, of course, the most high-strung manager in the building, probably entire state of Massachusetts.

She decides to scream at me on how it's so bad that there's so much to put away and there'd be a huge 500+ box-filled truck coming that day, and everything. At that point, I'm ready to throw up on her shoes just to make my point. She stops, and actually looks at my pale, half-awake face, and realizes that I'm dead on my feet. I just weaky ask "then.... is it Okay if I go?"

"Fine, go logout." And I do. Nearly forgetting my coat in the process, I ask her to lock the door behind me, because we were technically not open yet. I'd never felt so awful from almost nothing. I somehow got home, It's kinda hazy how I walked there. One of my roommates pokes out of the bathroom with the stupidest look on his face, and I'm heaving, tired, cold and can barely see. Asks "Why are you home?" I nearly screamed at him, just from sheer lack of common sense. I just say: I THREW UP. and proceed to take off my work clothes, and curl up on the couch.

I feel vaguely okay now, Depends how I feel tonight If I'm going into work tomorrow. I'm getting kinda fed up with all of the insane amount of stress and things I have to do in a 5 hour shift and get paid crap for and am so under-appreciated for. I have half a mind to call and quit. Simply because there's so much work for one person to do, I never get a break, nor a 'thank you' for busting my ass every day.

guh, I'm tired, and I'm gonna use this sick-day to jobhunt.